The One

Wrote this song a year ago..I guess i had a terrible vocal chord since never practicing anymore 

When u ask me all the bad dream it was running through my vein over night

And if u stay here be my angel

Gonna keep me from the nightmare I don’t care

And it wasn’t true that I could live without you

Blaming all the past we’ve been through

Will you never leave me coz Im begging u

Be a part a part of me again let me holding you hand

chorus:The moment when you're with me

When everything just fine

The one who never leave you and always by your side

bridge:I had tried to live another life to try another you

My heart getting colder

And die..and die without you..

Song & Lyric by Gil

12 Days

12 days...

Were more than happiness i could have in my entire life. We have our best friendship back.
Mistakes decided to never regret. You said, "Everything happens for a reason".Yet we were blessed to have this brilliant journey. 9 months apart from you feels like an overtaken by the death.We are undefeated. Both lost or defeated are choices. Everybody knows the limit and ever get lost but we choose to remain undefeated.

Today when I see you away from me.. You know  how graved I am?. I cant even moved nor drove back from the airport. I am losing part of me. Sudden awakening. I was the one who deserved being left since I tortured you the most but you give me lessons to learn and of course a chance. One of them is not to put guilty for any decision we had taken in our life.

When we were talking about sentiment or feeling. I never want to play that role. We don't.

You remind me that still I am a human. I had tried my best and knew my limit. When you pointed a finger at me back then..the rest of them pointed at you  because you tried your hardest more than human could afford. Huge standing applause still can't reach for what you did. A chance is not just a chance. I will appreciate this for the rest of my life. I know I couldn't make you feel excellence..but at least I am the one who still trying to reincarnate for that chance, never let it go.

You are the most big-hearted person on earth. I wonder how could you do that? And how super-human could away from you?. Or maybe I am just a fool tiny dust impossibly detached from you. I guess nope!. Coz any of your friends decided to be there for you too. They knew who you are..the one who worth for everlasting-ship.

You said only need 3 days to know someone inside out. How naked I am during those 12 days?. Everybody says I am strong enough to face everything without fear. How about I ignored the twin beds and shared a single tiny bed with you?. I asked you to stay all night just to make sure no ghost haunting me...every person who knows me realize how coward I am with that "kind". Now you found out everything by your own eyes..everything.

We are twins. Too much similarity but covered with our own choices. We don't have a heart to do something inhumanity. But when you faced the choices..you should know the time when to attract yourself. You cant agree with my time, so did I.

Anyway thank you so much for those memories. Take care and see you in the near future.

Martial Art is deeper than the ocean

Hilariously funny when I read all those post here just about music..music.. and music though the originally me I love martial arts so much. Any kind of martial arts genuinely Taekwondo.

Who said martial art only taught cruelty?. You are exactly wrong!

You probably think I am the one whom short tempered but could you just imagine how I control all of this shit?. All due to self control learned from martial arts..and yeah music too of course :)

Some people born in a different way.Way to express their emotional value. Do you know more there are thousand martial arts more than you know?. Most of us only knew Karate, Taekwondo, Kungfu..actually there are many of them more than you could Imagine. Especially here in our country. Indonesia a paradise of varies culture following their self defense variety. such as Silek Tuo  from Minangkabau?. Even myself I just knew this self defense exist when one of our respected master here in UNHAS told his story about this. Marvelous his curiosity and hunger of martial arts knowledge so unbelievable but he remains down to earth. He prefer called himself as a learner than an expert.

Martial arts is a way of life. Guide you to release from your darkest side. Not telling joke..many martial arts enthusiast derived from the most darkest side of their life. Same thing goes to me.

I admired to argue and keep challenging everyone I met starting from childhood. I am not considering everyone having their own self defense that time. Stupidly I just brought myself and a weapon and challenge everyone older older older than my age. How if I killed myself?. Never think bout it until these martial arts occupied me.

At the age of 9. My parents forced me went to Vihara like places and they showed me Wushu. I tried this Wushu for almost two years. One year for only basic ( the stances so unbelievably tiring) and another one year learning movement and  learned a weapon, Toya. During this time..Wushu helps me to discover flexibility..beauty of martial arts but I didn’t discover when and where I should apply my excess energy..to fight like those in the movie. I feel kinda boring that time yet I gained my arrogant and still loved to fight with everyone else. Who doesn’t?. Stupid childhood whom always being flattered with praises..being called and paid by local TV station and fulfill some of event’s entertainment. Hahaha stupid. I still loved to fight everyone else for no reason.

Until  I moved to another place with my parents. Standard 6 till SPM. On my first year of standard 6..again due to my premanism behavior. My parents brought me to the right place. The club named Sara Taekwondo. I joined the club along with two times belt acceleration ( white belt to Yellow stripe and Green 1 to Blue 2) and one year punishment for black belt. Hehehehe…That’s why I told. Martial arts will teach you to behave and control your selves. My instructor said it’s no use if you are the best player, never absent your training but over pride and can’t control your emotion. I am desire and too much emotional when fighting. Martial art is for self defense not for brutality. “If you want to fight..imagine yourself flowing like a water. Calm, relaxing, using your mind properly. If you are emotional like a fire..you look like a monkey. Stupid”. Never forget those conversation. During that time I learned and want to be the best player for him. I don’t want to let him down..I turned to be so ambitious. At the age of 15 I tried to part timely worked as a coach under my club until I finished my study in Kelantan. I taught Taekwondo to high school, primary school and even university when my mom’s students were there and recognized me as a young aged coach. I tried to devide my time for my training, my part timely work and also my academy. That was so hard since finished training always at 11pm. So I forced myself to study for 2 hours every day. Fortunately everything going well for my SPM result.

During that time, when closely bond with my instructor. One of another club asked me and offered me a better facility for an athlete. I tied and consult this with my instructor and again almost being expel from my club.

“ Jangan jadi kacang lupakan kulit. If you wanna leave just leave but please don’t ever come here.”

I wondered  this case is too much. Until I found something with my own eyes. They taught you to be loyal with whom raised you.

A previous player from my club. She is very talented and consider best player but she left him..left the club. She is very different and way too ambitious to achieve something which was forgetting the basic principle of martial art. My instructor doesn’t want me to be like that.

Self defense is a culture. What is your motivation on the first place to be part of it?. Learning the philosophy or just receiving the gold medal and prizes?.

Another thing is sharing your knowledge to anyone else.

One of a student here (not in the club) I almost gave my time to improve her skill. Until she banned from the training institution and find a better place. Everyone insult her till now..but I don’t think this situation is concerned me until she never even say Hi again to the place where you came from. We have a lack of women’s instructor here. Not one, not yet. If that best player sharing something in this place, people will gain their motivation to reach the goal. There are no difference between woman and man really, but could you just imagine it really will boost others passion.

Lastly, after you learn martial art you will be more healthy you know part of sport. Taekwondo easy to burn as many calories and you will find yourself more self esteem to walk or doing your activity outside. I am a beginner of MMA. Ever heard about it?. Mix martial arts. It will combine your martial art basic such as taekwondo, and combine with another specialty from other martial arts such as boxing, jiujitsu, muaythai and others. When I learn this MMA, it opens my awareness of how dangerous of others. Taekwondo itself although you learn fighting or sparring just make you feel in front from those sparring inside the arena, or to a slight street fighter without weapon or lack of self defense opponent.

Now I see differently than before. I just can think other people a piece of meat when you walked yourself alone. If not mistaken more than a month ago..I rushed back to my home after training. Around 7 pm behind the hospital campus area. My campus got two gates..gate 1 and 2. No security available there they just available on gate 1. So I drove slowly while searching for my drinking bottle and open my both windows widely. A motorcycle of two passengers came knocking one of back side’s window. I thought I hit them and they asked me to go out from the car. There was no time for me to call my friends even they got near me. I brought my nunchaku inside my bag but if Im steadily holding that weapon probably they will ready their weapon too. I just grabbed my car’s key.

One of the passengers stand by on the vehicle and the other one walked to me. Directly before he speak too much..I made a thrust to his nose using my key. I could feel the stabbed out sensation. He fell down on pain, and his friend suddenly threw down the motorcycle and run towards him. While they were made out their escaped back to the vehicle I also escaped myself from that area. How if the boss or their groups come over me?. So I just escaped and let them run.  My sensor key needs reparation because of that moment. Thank God I am survived.

Moral of the story here..If you are a martial art enthusiasm don’t ever quit!. Sharpen your knowledge to the deepest core of your major and keep trying something new. When you feel you are done/ enough means you are still on the small parts of martial art because martial art is deeper than the ocean.

Healthy Resolution

Everybody deserve to be fit and healthy..

As a nutritious food consumer , sometimes due to our bad trashy food habit we don't even care about the " nutritious" food it self contained too much protein, too much carbs for our calorie value need. Eat healthy must be differentiate from eat greedy. Healthy  doesn't mean we could eat as much / varies as we want.

Me myself..

Im on a diet program. 

Diet not because I want to be somebody else or you probably think Im not loving my self.

I have to !..just because my weight over 13 kgs before and I found many difficulties during exercise, lack of antibody and last but not least the thing is because of my terrible allergic condition.

I am the one could be called as a crying - baby  as hell for food containing sea food. Since I stay here most of the food contained sea food ( the oil, n so on). I eat greedily then the next few hours, I put my self on danger. What for?. So before i decided to lose my weight, I've been 4 weeks on pain like puke, fever, stomachache, rashes n others allergic reactions and went for consulting to one of the best internist here but unfortunately the doctor only gave a slight attention to allergic case. Maybe the ratio of allergic patient here still a few. 

I would like to share and also remind myself  if...in the future i have a problem with my weight again, here you should do. One thing for sure, Im not recommend you to use any drugs to lose weight but if you try another drugs/supplement just under your risk. 

1. Check your BMI

Do you ever heard about BMI?. Body Mass Index. Shortly I would like to tell that if you are an athlete, or simply called a bit muscular you must considerate your bone weight also your muscle mass. There are many articles will explain to you about this. So please use the google instead I explain a fairy tale. If you are an athlete and you use this simple BMI you will find your BMI interpretation will be over weight/ obese instead of normal. An athlete person usually 20-30 % more of BMI normal value. So please don't be scare if you find this happen to you or keep questioning why my body looks perfect on a mirror but weight this much.

After you understand about BMI..If you found your self over weight or obese, also your shape are very annoying to your own eyes that will lead you depressed of your self esteem you may start your diet.

2. Calorie counter / calorie needed per day

Most of us are notice certain food/ drink they will give you the calorie contained per serving. Yes, you are right usually located at the back side of the package.

Before you read those numbers, please make sure you know your calorie needed per day. Your calorie needed very important to stay healthy. Don't do a extreme diet that will eventually kill you slowly and exacerbate your hunger state. Sometimes an extreme diet will lead your sugar demand..due to hypoglycemic and it will lead you to starve.

No need to find the best nutritionist on earth since now the application available for your mobile phone. Im not promoting..again just sharing i use this app  "m* fitn*ss pal" the blue-white logo. It was very easy using that app. It will help you to count your calorie intake, calorie need, and almost any kinds of foods and brands are there ( even Indomie, nasi goreng). Very friendly and if you dont find the food calorie just scanning the bar code. That app asked my current weight, my target weight, my daily activity and so on. Almost forgot, you can list your exercise too!.

So for now my calorie needed per day are  1200 kcal to reach the target weight.

I could eat as much as i want for these 1200 kcal but under control. 

3. Knowing the basic of maintaining weight

Refer to the step above, we have to know...although im capable to eat until 1200 kcal, the basic to maintain your weight for diet

a. Low sugar

b. Low salt/ natrium

c. Avoid trans fat, low fat

d. No junk food

When I know i could eat this 1200 kcal per day..I hold this principle. Please do understand..low doesn't mean none at all. Sugar, fat and others still important to create energy to help you to burn your excess fat.

Often schedule  

Breakfast- cofee (sugar added ), sometimes veggie and fruit too kalau gak malas.

Lunch- Makanan enak enak..sampe kenyang asal tau diri lah,.drink plenty of mineral water or 0 calorie drink

Dinner: 0 calorie drink, sugar/ vegie. If after exercise I lapar then curi2 makan a slice of wheat bread. Find gandum better for you than the white skin.

4. Knowing your active metabolism

Simply just avoid eating when you are on your lowest metabolism such as before a bed time/ rest

5. Excercise

Three times a day for at least 30 minutes very important for you. But during this program i did my training almost 5-6 times a week. 

Cardio work out is very important to cut your calorie. The more cardio work out,..it will cut the crap of your calorie,.then you can eat more :). Olahraga untuk makan banyak!

During exercise toning your muscle also important to help you burn that fat!. People with muscle tone are easier to burn their fat. Do push up repetition!. One thing i need to remind you..please aware of using dumbel/ barbel if you are still on a big shape!! kalau mmg mau punya body kaya Big show or incredible hulk ya monggo. If you are on a  big shape please excess your cardio work out first and just do push up repetition set. If your weight gradually decrease you can set your dumbel 1 kg and slowly increase.

Don't under estimate sit up..very curing for 1 pack tummy/ central obesity or could be untuk perut kaya nenennya kucing. Do the sit up first!. Abdominal crunches ever heard bout it?. Crunches good for shaping your tummy but the movement didn't count to cut your calorie.

6. Motivation 

Please don't stuck on your journey. When you decide to start and you loss your weight even only a few pounds it was your struggle.A process. Don't quit. 

7. Enviroment

Find a healthy environment who keep supporting you. Doesn't matter if you are surrounding by friends who love culinary but make sure they are respect with your choice :).

I got these best friends who loves gossiping while eating/ snacking  but they never insist me to do what I won't. But if I told them I am hungry, they will feed me like a baby.

A group of a same goal very helpful to encourage you. Find a perfect friend/ best friend to help you through your obstacles. Luckily i got these 3 gentlemen whom always remind me if Im  not coming to the training session. " Hati-hati makan di jaga. Nanti besar!".  Whoa..Thanks a lot partner in crime. For the best MMA training session.

That's all for now,

Sincerely,

Gil

* spelling error due to malas. Thanks

...................................................................................................................................................................

work out on my own dojang

work out with one of partner in crime

2016?? What the ff..

Hi blog?Long time no see. So pity looking at you and wondering those lame post quite alay. Hmm its okay. Sometimes I just laugh myself seeing all those records here.

Insomnia lately don’t know what to do. Even I tried to exercise 3 hours before nappy time.

What a joke this day is 1st January?. Man..someone getting older here yet her mind still a toddler.

HAPPY NEW YEAR anyway.

I got my surprise

That day. not in the mood to do anything..since blank in the house. Just Merry, Lana n me..everybody off for Palembang for around 6 days. Around 11.30 WITA..Merry yelled at me. " Kak Ragil...Kak Ragil..ada barang untuk kakak". Then I woke up suddenly to reach that called. What I found was..these cute surprise from my childhood twins n her best friend Hasna from Bandung.

black-washed Polo, sandal for Anna, purse, and small magnetic guitar

They said it was belated birthday gift for me..That was means alot to me really. my heart touched down melted (apaan sih). Then I directly texted Anna, she also surprised with that. Anyway thank you so much Jeani n Hasna. I supposedly attached their picture he..here they are:

Hasna (left) n my twins Jeni (Right)

Dear guys, thank you so much for your effort especially on how you guys made me feel appreciated and trustworthy to be a part of your life. Dimanapun n kapanpun kita berada kita harus tetep keep in touch sampe kapanpun yah...sangat seneng lah punya temen2 yg bisa dibanggakan ke siapapun klo Ragil punya temen kecil yang nempel terus dari kecil. Very 2 seldom and unique!

Always be in our mind

Dewiyanti Purnamasari...

was my fighter sister of Red Hwarang Taekwondo (UNHAS). I knew her since 4 years ago. She was the most friendly person i knew...I remember every little thing of her...especially when she was riding motorcycle and called my name that day.You looked so happy and galau at the same time..how could you.

All my curhatan hati..gone with you Dewi. She knew everything came from my heart. And I always remember what she told me..very motivated.

" Kak Ragil....Jangan sedih- sedih terus, yang dulu biarkan saja berlalu apalagi sekarang Kak Ragil jauh lebih happy"

She was ill...complicated. Always in and out from the hospital but she got an adventure heart!. She was still.. able went to Kediri improving her english for 3 months. At that time she is not fully health...tapi CUEK!. Everyone told her to stay calmly n rest at her home but she refused. During that time she was very on fire..texting me to make her english home work..what a great spirit!

I dont know how to mention all of our memory together..but all of us,.all of your friends and family

will be missing you Dewi!